Things teenagers say.

Vignette #1
Two boys, grade 9 science class working on seatwork, the day after Sidney Crosby got hit in the face with a puck

C: "Hey, what's the name of that guy who plays for the Leafs?"

J: "Um... which one do you mean?"

C: "You know, that famous guy. Is it... Stevie Wonder?"

J: (bewildered) "Uh... do you mean... Sidney Crosby, who plays for the Penguins?"

C: (relieved) "Yeah! That's the guy."

J: (bewildered) "Wow."

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Vignette #2
Grade 9 science class, during a whole-class discussion about the Earth and the Moon and their structures

(N.B. "N's" English is about 70%; he's originally from Pakistan)

N: (at back of class) "Um... sir? Have you ever heard of... ah... what's it called... [makes gesturing motion with his hands]... I think it's called a... a 'glory hole'?"

class: (absolutely no reaction, [surprisingly])

me: (showing no outward reaction) "I... no, I've never heard of that."

N: (gesturing again) "It's... hmm. Well, have you ever heard of a hole that appears in the ground? Apparently it's really deep?"

me: (inwardly relieved) "Ah! You mean a sinkhole. Yeah, there was just one in Florida a few weeks ago that swallowed a house and killed a guy."

N: (relieved) "That's the story I heard too. Do we get them around here?"

me: "Nah, we're alright here. We have a different type of bedrock."

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Vignette #3
Grade 12 physics class, most students are paying attention to the demo at the front of the class (some working on problems already)

Demonstration: Newton's Cradle (in the context of elastic collisions)

me: "So, eventually the motion dies down to nothing, because the collisions aren't entirely elastic, and the kinetic energy goes away into sound and heat. Then the balls are motionless." [you see where this is going. --ed.]

N: "How could you get the thing to go on forever?"

me: "If you lose a tenth of a joule of energy every time through, and the ball only has 1 J of energy to start with, that means in ten swings it's done. What you have to do, then, is increase the... uh... mass of the balls..."

N and a few others: (big grins, then bursts of laughter)

me: "Well then... I think I should probably just stop there."